This podcast was first published here by Crystal from Drag Race UK on their podcast “The things that made me queer”. Listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts.

We wanted to share an excerpt from the podcast for Pride Month because it absolutely warmed our hearts with the kind words she said about StrongHer. It was so amazing to hear her story and we’re so proud that Ruth is part of the StrongHerd. She’s part of our Warrior Project, a small group training programme and trains with us 2-3 days a week.


RUTH: So I've been in many queer places all my life. I worked at Stonewall for 14 years. I was a professional gay. I'm still a professional gay. Wherever I go, my sexuality is very much part of the narrative and I make the space queer. So I now go to a gym in Bethnal Green called StrongHer. And StrongHer is a weight lifting gym for women. And it is the most affirming, glorious, wonderful, magical place. And if I'd had it when I was 16, I would be so fit right now. But it's taken me to ask for it too. And it's amazing. And it's full of queer women. And my coach is non-binary, and they're amazing. And it's full of women in headscarves, and older women, and women with multiple kids just getting some time and learning how to lift. And women come in all different shapes and sizes, and wear crappy t-shirts and old Vans. There's none of that preening, none of that showing off, just utterly supportive and amazing. And it is the queerest I felt in ages, pure, non performative, non influencing. I'm not trying to persuade anyone to do anything. I'm not using my power. I'm just, rather badly, doing a deadlift. My coach this week was like, I think you might always be a beginner, Ruth. And I was like, ouch, but I'm okay. I'm okay. I am going to be a beginner weightlifter in this gym for the next 20 years. And it's just beautiful. And I just think they do great queer inclusive sessions and self-defence for queer kids. And just like, oh, my days. How pure and wonderful is that?

CRYSTAL: It sounds like a haven.

RUTH: It is a haven.

CRYSTAL: It also sounds too good to be true. It sounds like something that you would fictionalise. You'd be like, oh, that'll never happen.

RUTH: I know! And Tig and Sam, who are the founders, are just amazing, strong women who just really believe in women's fitness. And I think the gym scene has always been very gay male. And I think lesbians have historically been involved in team sports. And I am not a team sport person. I'm not remotely interested in competing against other people and being hit by balls or any of that stuff. I'm just not here for it. So I've never really found my thing. I run around the park so slowly that people walk past me and encourage me. I'm not a jogger, nor never will be. And suddenly I found a place where I can just be a bit crap. But also I'm getting little muscles now! Do you know what I mean? It's so cool. So it's just lovely at the age of 40 to still be finding places that completely make me feel queer and where I don't have to be a professional gay and I don't need to be on it.  And I don't need to be educating or informing or persuading. I can just be a bit crap.

CRYSTAL: And yourself. Why do you think you never got into fitness before? Do you think it's because it didn't feel like it was a space for you?

RUTH: I just never knew how... I'm very clumsy. I don't know my left from my right. No one's ever going to pick me for their team. Do you know what I mean? That's never going to happen. So there was never a space where I was like, woohoo, this is it. And I guess I never found a way. And I think it's quite hard for girls growing up who, you know, my body goes through all sorts of different shapes and sizes, seemingly beyond my control, although chocolate ice cream is lush, do you know what I mean? But it does have consequences. So I've always had quite an odd relationship with my body and physicality and not much understanding of what my body could do, just what it can't do. So a constant awareness of “it's not good enough” and it's not this enough and it's not that enough. And never found a way of knowing my body well enough to go, oh, my God, it can do this. And how cool is it that it can do that? And I don't think those opportunities ever came up, but I doubt I sought them out either because I was just too scared. And I work away from London a lot. So occasionally, I have to go to a gym in a crappy hotel or whatever. And I was in stitches for a week, the other week, on a thing, and kept going into this gym with beautiful men. And I was like, I really need one of them to spot me. And there is no way am I asking them to spot me. And then by the fourth day, this beautiful boy came up and he was like, I'll spot you. I was like, thank you so much. It's really good of you. So I think I'm a little bit shy and a little bit little. I've just never had the confidence to get in there and do it and never really known how, really. Whereas now I think I found a way of being me in all that comes with that.

CRYSTAL: Yeah, it's a nice lesson there as well about creating spaces that are accessible to communities who don't necessarily otherwise have access to those spaces. Of course, we need lesbian bodybuilders.

RUTH: Yes, of course.

CRYSTAL: Obviously.

RUTH: Obviously, we need that. What I love is that there's the lesbian bodybuilder and then there's the Muslim mom who's got four kids at home and she's managed to carve half an hour out. And there's this amazing woman, Lana, who's one of the coaches. She's 42 and she sometimes swings from bars and her hands bleed. And I'm like, you are so hardcore. You know what I mean? You are just deadlifting all sorts of weird shit. And I so wish that girls could be helped to love their body for what it could do, not for what it can't do. And the obsession with hips and ratios, and the porn that people watch just creates completely unrealistic expectations about what women look like and what they want and who they are and even what a lesbian orgasm sounds like, let alone feels like. We're not helping young men either now, but there's something about finding ways in which girls can get involved in a way. So any women and lesbians and lesbian-adjacent women around Bethnal Green - look up this gym - StrongHer. It's pretty awesome.