Why it’s important to stretch if you want to build… confidence!

We all know our quads and calves (and everything else!) need a good stretch before a workout in order to feel flexible, healthy and ready for anything. But did you know that’s not the only kind of stretching that can support you in feeling your best? In this post we’re talking behaviour stretches and expanding your comfort zone! Ahead of our Bad Drama Club community event, we invited StrongHerd member and founder of Gutsy, Susannah, to share some tips about safe ways to stretch your comfort zone and build your bravery muscles.

So many of us struggle to feel confident speaking up or trying something new and would rather stay quiet and away from the spotlight. At the same time, this invisibility can become incredibly painful, like a wall that keeps us safe but also blocks us from connecting with others, making progress, taking risks and having adventures. This has become an even bigger problem since the pandemic, when a lot of us got out of practice in using our bravery muscles. Because, just like your actual muscles, your comfort zone contracts and limits your range if you don’t regularly stretch it.

Avoidance fuels anxiety

If you’re someone who tends to avoid things that scare you, or you wait until you feel confident enough to make a move, you might find yourself feeling very stuck. The annoying truth is: avoidance fuels anxiety. So curling up and waiting until you feel ready, isn’t the answer – and can actually make things worse.

Start in the shallow end

But, just like with a new exercise programme, dropping yourself in at the deep end will likely do more harm than good. You wouldn’t go straight from couch to ultramarathon, so throw out any ideas that you should be aiming for a TED Talk, West End audition or stand-up comedy show. Those would be a nervous system overload and way too exposing for most of us.

Feel-good foundations

The idea is to build solid foundations, not only so that you can speak up, express yourself, take risks and try new things, but so that you feel good doing it. And how do you do that? Gradually and with unconditional support every step of the way – either your own self-compassion or, even better, the support and encouragement of a group and a guide.

Gentle stretches

The best way to build your confidence is in ways that offer gentle behavioural stretches and challenge you just enough but not too much. You don’t want to risk adding to the pile of mortifying school performances, excruciating work presentations or awkward social encounters – all of which can make you recoil, hide and avoid future embarrassment. It’s all about finding that sweet spot between safe and scary.

The power of play

This is where play comes in! Between work, family, friends and working out, adults neglect play. It’s a mode where we get in touch with our intuition, imagination and curiosity; where there are no rules and there’s no such thing as mistakes. If you tend towards perfectionism, you often second-guess yourself or stay quiet because you don’t want to look silly or make a mistake, play is a powerful way to practice new behaviours and experiment with stretching your comfort zone. Sure, it can feel crunchy and awkward at first, but with a little practice it will transform how you approach any challenge.

Quiet confidence

Those of us who are quieter, more sensitive or introverted can so often be made to feel like we need fixing or improving, that we’re not cut out for certain things or that we need a thicker skin. That’s all nonsense – being quiet doesn’t mean you can’t! And you don’t have to change who you are to thrive. Through gentle challenge, creative play and lots of support, you can absolutely learn to stretch beyond your current limits and inhibitions, and build your quiet confidence.

If you caught yourself thinking ‘oh my god, this is so me’ while reading this blog post, you don’t want to miss out on the Bad Drama Club community-only event. It’s an interactive, playful and gentle workshop for anyone who struggles with shyness, social anxiety or speaking up in their life, work or relationships.

You'll be guided through a series of games and practices drawn from drama, improvisation and dramatherapy, with each exercise building on the last so you never feel out of your depth. You'll always be able to go at your own pace and opt out if anything feels like too much. It's a chance to try something a little bit challenging in a highly supportive environment, connect with new friends, have fun and walk away feeling capable of anything!

Sign up via wodboard!